Just five? Yes, it turns out a mere five seconds is enough to defuse an argument, according to a study by researchers at the University of St Andrews.

In the study, published their findings in the journal Communications Psychology, 81 couples were goaded into conflict by engaging in a competitive game where they could blast an unpleasant noise at their partner at a volume of their choosing – yes this was a fun study. The couples participated in 30 rounds of the game, with breaks enforced at different intervals. Advanced AI and machine learning were used to analyse the couples’ emotional responses, which were captured by a 360-degree camera with onboard audio.

Just five seconds was found to be equally effective as longer breaks in defusing conflict, says Annah McCurry, a PhD candidate at the university’s school of psychology and neuroscience.

“It sounds obvious, but this is the first time anyone has experimentally demonstrated a reduction in aggression following enforced breaks,” says McCurry. “Forcing couples to have a five-second break was just as effective as a 10- or 15-second break, which shows even the briefest of pauses can help defuse an argument. This is a simple, free and effective hack to reduce negative emotions during arguments. It’s cheaper than couples therapy and can be easily integrated into everyday interactions.”

The researchers found that during minor conflicts couples tended to match each other’s level of aggression. But enforcing short time-outs broke the tit-for-tat pattern, reducing overall aggression.

While the intervention has the potential to save couples a fortune in counselling, it is intended for managing lower-level conflicts, preventing their escalation into serious rows.

“This approach does not apply to domestic violence scenarios,” McCurry cautioned. “This is about managing the mundane, everyday arguments that couples have and that can escalate.” Five, four . . .

Related:

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Couples Who Use These Words Have Stronger Relationships

The post How the five-second rule could save your relationship appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

EVER BEEN ON a date or two with someone, think you had a pretty solid connection, and then a few days later, they’re gone? Congrats – you’ve been ghosted.

You’re not alone, either. Recent research has shown that up to 30 per cent of daters have experienced being ghosted in the last 10 years.

Though it’s being talked about more frequently, the concept is unfortunately nothing new. People have been disappearing on their dates and partners for decades. The only difference now, is that the practice may be a bit more common. The widespread use of dating apps has made plunging into and out of someone’s life easier than ever. With no other ties to someone we meet online, it can be an easier to extricate yourself by simply disappearing instead of a tastefully placed, albeit potentially awkward, ‘I’m just not that into you.’

It’s easier to explain away when you do it than when it’s done to you. The radio silence from someone you were interested in often leaves you sitting there thinking: What the hell just happened?

Read on for what to know about ghosting and what you can do about it – including how to avoid doing it yourself.

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is basically rejection without the closure. This often happens out of nowhere and can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and even paranoid.

“It’s ambiguous, up to interpretation, and can leave the door open for excuses to rekindle the spark down the line,” says Lorrae Bradbury, sex educator and founder of the sex positive site Slutty Girl Problems. “Ultimately, it’s a way to end the connection without having to answer about how you really feel.”

And there are different levels of ghosting. Disappearing after a few low-key conversations, for example, is not the same as ghosting someone you’ve shared a significant connection with. “The more time people have spent with each other—and the more emotionally intimate the connection, the more likely it is that ghosting will be mentally and emotionally harmful to the ghosted person,” adds Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Rosa, CA, and author of Date Smart.

So why do people disappear? For all kinds of reasons. For instance, according to a September 2020 survey by the “anti-ghosting” dating app, Elate (which “lets you know when a match moves on and also gives you fewer reasons to ghost others”), 43% of people said they’d ghosted to avoid the awkwardness of saying they weren’t interested, 37% ghosted because the other person said or did something they didn’t like, and 36% ghosted because they were too busy and then it was “too late.”

Is it ever okay to ghost someone?

When it comes to connections beyond dating apps, the reasons can vary even more – but that’s not to say ghosting is okay. “Ghosting is an unhealthy and disrespectful behaviour,” Manly says. “Unless a person presents a threat of some kind, it’s inappropriate not to communicate that you’re not interested in moving forward.”

And although “ghosters” may feel powerful in the moment, ghosting behaviors can be a sign of inner weakness and low self-esteem, Manly explains, noting people “with high self-esteem tend to not engage in behaviours that are disrespectful or hurtful to others.”

How do you know if someone is ghosting you?

If someone seems to be into you, you go on a few dates, have sex a few times, or even date for a little while, it can be hard to accept that they have evaporated into the ether with the Ghosts of Relationships Past.

Maybe they’re just busy, right? Right? Wrong.

“I don’t buy the “too busy” excuse. If someone wants to make time for you, they will find a way to,” Bradbury says. “We are all busy, but when we find someone that lights us up, we can usually shift around responsibilities to make time for them. At the very least, we can see our notifications, and write back.”

If you’re putting yourself out there and someone doesn’t message you back, they probably aren’t worth your time. As Bradbury puts it: “Where are you willing to fall on someone’s priority list?”

So if a person has vanished, and some time has passed, chances are: you’ve got a ghost.

What should you do when someone is ghosting you?

It’s okay to admit you’re shaken up. It sucks that someone you cared about seems to care so little about you that they couldn’t even show you the respect of a simple goodbye or a breakup. It’s also reasonable that you’d feel robbed of closure. But while you may want an explanation, you likely won’t get one. The sooner you accept this, the better.

“Ghosting is usually a clear indication that they are unwilling or unable to give you the closure you’re seeking,” Bradbury says. “Perhaps they don’t know the answers themselves, or can’t communicate their feelings properly. Either way, you’re unlikely to get a straight response.”

Remember that this is a them problem, not a you problem. Under no circumstances are you to send one of those long-ass texts or voicemails asking for a reason. Even if it feels good in the moment, you will almost certainly then regret making yourself look needy and insecure.

“[I]t’s best to chalk it up to incompatibility and know that a better match is out there for you,” Bradbury adds.

How do I avoid ghosting? (In other words, how do I simply say goodbye?)

Look, we know being up-front isn’t always easy. If you no longer like someone, or have other priorities, you may be tempted to ghost so you don’t say something that could hurt their feelings. But remember, ghosting itself can be hurtful to the other person. And there’s no “nice” way to ghost, Manly says.

So what can you do instead? It’s simple: If the person doesn’t present a threat to you, communicate honestly, kindly, clearly, and briefly. There’s no need to drag things out.

“If you’ve gone on only one or two dates with a person, it’s fine to end the connection via text with a simple, ‘Thank you, but I’m shifting directions.’ There doesn’t need to be any follow-up or back and forth,” Manly says, adding that a simple text shows niceness while closing the door.

“If the relationship was more significant, it’s important to have a conversation with the person out of simple respect,” Manly adds. “Generally, it’s ideal to meet in person or have a phone chat; the goal is to let the other person have a sense of closure while also showing self-respect and other-respect.”

The bottom line: Be cool, and say something.

What do I do if a ghost returns?

Also known as a haunting, a ghost sometimes reappears, seemingly out of nowhere.

If a ghost wants to reconnect, it’s up to you how to proceed. Be straightforward about your feelings. If you were hurt, say so. It’s okay, at this point, to ask for an explanation about what happened. You don’t need to pretend everything is OK. Pretending could give a ghost the green light to pull this shady move again down the road.

By the way, if you’re the one who wants to come back – perhaps to reconcile or just to apologise for disappearing (good man) – it’s fine to reach out when you know your intentions.

And while it’s acceptable to allow a ghost back into your life if they offer a reasonable explanation for their disappearance, be cautious, notes Bradbury. Pay attention to their behaviour and the circumstances surrounding their resurrection. Are they bored? Inconsistent? Looking for a sure thing?

“If you’re continually being ghosted and there’s no valid reason to be found, it’s not worth your time,” Bradbury adds. “Let your ghost fade into eternity.”

This article originally appeared on Men’s Health US.

Related:

Yes, Getting Ghosted Sucks. Science Explains Why

Could astrology hold the key to boosting your success in online dating?

The post What is ghosting? Here’s how to know if you’re being ghosted – and avoid doing it yourself appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

So . . . what is astrology? 

Astrology and dating 

Matt Galea

Astrology has become increasingly popular on dating apps, with ‘zodiac’ being one of the top five descriptors used by both men and women in Australia, making it an excellent conversation starter. According to a global survey, 30 per cent of Gen Z individuals admit to checking their date’s star sign before going out, while 42 per cent of Australians consider star sign compatibility essential. Galea’s guide is designed to help men who need to be better-versed in spirituality gain confidence and understanding in astrology, leading to more meaningful conversations and connections.

Using astrology to mix and match

Stars and strikes

Here is Galea’s breakdown of each star sign in terms of personality and behavioural tendencies, plus his recommended conversation starters

Aries: March 21 – April 19

If you’re after someone with a bold, take-charge attitude, then Aries is the match for you. They’re usually the first one to make a move. If they’re keen on you, it’ll be pretty obvious.

The best convo starter: “Do you watch or play any sport?”

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

This stable, down-to-earth sign has no time for BS and they’re looking for the same thing in a partner. Are they high maintenance? Sure, they cost a little more, but they’re worth it!

The best convo starter: “If you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

Gemini: May 21 – June 21

This intellectual air sign is outgoing, curious and keen to get out there and meet new people.

The best convo starter: “What’s the last gig you went to and what’s the next?”

Cancer: June 22 – July 22

At this point you’re essentially ready to jump back on Tinder and swipe with confidence. Before you do, though, immerse yourself in celestial slang to prove that you’re a true cosmic pro 

Ascendant

It’s like the astrological equivalent of your personal brand. Your rising sign, also known as the ascendant, is all about how you present yourself to the world and how others perceive you. It’s like your astrological first impression, so make it count.

Birth chart 

Crystals 

Gemstones believed to possess different energies that can affect change in our lives.

Air signs 

Earth signs 

Water signs

Mercury retrograde

Venus retrograde 

Tarot cards

Become a star-crossed lover

Galea’s tips to applying your newfound astrological acumen to your love life

Add your zodiac sign to your Tinder profile

Break the ice with star-studded conversation

The post Could astrology hold the key to boosting your success in online dating? appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Unfortunately, it happens more than it should. Ever heard of the “orgasm gap”? The term refers to the proven fact that straight, cis men orgasm during sex significantly more often than their partners do. A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that these men orgasm 95 per cent of the time, whereas straight, cis women only orgasm 65 per cent of the time. The disparity has nothing to do with vulva owners’ anatomy; that same study found that cisgender lesbians orgasm 86 per cent of the time during sex, and additional research shows that vulva owners have no problem reaching orgasm during masturbation.

When it comes to making your partner orgasm, the key is thinking beyond intercourse alone. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that it took between 12.76 and 14.06 minutes for the average vulva owner to reach climax during penetrative sex—roughly double the 5 to 7 minutes it typically takes penis-owners. And fewer than 1 in 5 vulva-owners are able to orgasm from penetration alone, according to the Mayo Clinic.

So how can you help your partner reach orgasm? Before you make it your life’s mission, a quick warning: While orgasms feel amazing, the act of chasing them can add a lot of pressure to your sex life. Recent research has focused on “orgasm coercion”: the idea that trying too hard to make your partner come can put pressure on them, which feels like coercion. People on the receiving end of orgasm coercion may feel like their climax is more about their partner’s need to feel “man enough” than it is about their pleasure. Talk to your partner to see if they feel this way. If they do, discuss what you can do to help take the pressure off.

How to make your partner orgasm

With all that said, let’s talk orgasms. If you want to help your partner climax—or make their orgasms even better than they already are—try these tips from sexual health experts.

1) Don’t race toward your partner’s orgasm

“Try to remember the goal of sex is pleasure, and orgasm is one kind of pleasure that is significantly shorter than all the rest of it,” says Shadeen Francis, LMFT. That’s why Francis recommends slowing down. Take your time with your movements, and don’t focus on the end game. There is a slight irony to it—the more your partner thinks about orgasming, the less likely they will be to orgasm. So take the pressure off of your partner and focus on making them feel as good as possible for as long as possible. (We refer to this slow-down technique as closing the “pleasure gap.”)

2) Incorporate external clitoral stimulation

First thing’s first: the vast majority of vulva-owners require external clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. In fact, a study of more than 1,000 vulva-owners in 2017 revealed that only 18% of participants could orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. So when you’re having sex, you want to focus on external stimulation alone or in combination with some form of penetration.

If you want to stimulate your partner’s clitoris during P-in-V intercourse, some sex positions make it easier to do than others. Rachel* is a fan of the coital alignment technique, or CAT: “When a guy is on top of you in the missionary position, have him shift his body slightly forward so that, every time he thrusts, his penis rubs against your clitoris.” This tactic is even more orgasmic if your partner’s legs are together and you’re straddling them, says Ellen Friedrichs, M.A., a health educator who also teaches at the City University of New York’s City Tech campus. You can achieve the same effect when they’re on top by propping yourself up on your elbows, which places your abdomen in closer contact with their clitoris.

3) Opt for specific positions

Speaking of the clitoris, there are some sex positions that come out on top (see what we did there?) when it comes to providing that sought-after stimulation.

According to Gigi Engle, SKYN’s resident sex expert, one of the best sex positions for clitoral contact is the lotus. In this position, you start seated and cross-legged, while your vulva-owning partner sits on your lap facing you and wraps their legs around your back. For a slightly less strenuous modification, you can also try the lotus position seated in a chair.

Engle likes this position because, like with the coital alignment technique, it entails sliding back and forth rather than bouncing up and down.

“It allows for more grinding against your partner’s body for that good old external stimulation,” she Engle.

Rebecca Glass, LMSW, a sex and relationship therapist, notes that cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also stellar positions for getting some clitoral contact because the vulva owner has complete control over the angle of penetration.

4) Pay more attention to their butt

Unless anal is on the menu, butts are typically sidelined during sex. And that’s a shame, because “the buttocks are packed with nerve endings,” says Gilda Carle, Ph.D., an internationally-known relationship expert. To give your partner “a surprising jolt of pleasure,” spread your fingers wide and squeeze their cheeks.

That said, you should ask your partner if they’re into booty squeezing first. If they’re down, be gentle, and take it one step at a time. Yes, of course, there are people out there who crave a good, hard spanking, but that needs to be discussed and agreed on before the butt smacking begins.

5) Learn what your partner likes, and follow their lead

As we mentioned above, direct, external clitoral stimulation is the most surefire way to bring many vulva-owners to orgasm—and oral sex is a pretty good way of going about that. Sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, says that using your mouth is the best way to get a sense of what your partner likes at every stage of arousal, including the stage just before orgasm. You’ll know your partner is becoming more aroused if you notice increased vaginal lubrication or if the external portion of their clitoris or their entire vulva swells. The clitoris—including the wishbone-shaped portion that’s underneath the skin—is made of erectile tissue just like the penis, so if your partner’s genitals increase in size, you’re doing a good job!

To find out more about your partner’s preferences, let them take the lead. When you’re giving them oral sex, get between their legs and give them a solid base of lips, tongue, and even chin (if you have a clean, smooth shave, that is) to rub against. While your partner does the grinding, note how hard they’re pushing and in what direction. Use that information later when using your fingers or mouth to please them.

6) Don’t stop kissing them

Once things get more heated, you might be tempted to focus less on kissing in favour of more X-rated pleasures. But deep kissing is often a must for reaching orgasm, according to a 2017 survey of more than 50,000 adults. The findings revealed that vulva-owners were much more likely to reach orgasm if their sexual encounter included a combination of deep kissing, oral sex, and genital stimulation.

7) Indulge their fantasies

Ask your partner if they have any fantasies they’d like to explore. “Fantasies can increase arousal during a sexual experience,” says Francis. “Finding a fantasy that really turns your partner on can add another layer of pleasure during sex.” It’s also a way to get your partner more psychologically aroused, which is just as important (if not more important) than physical arousal when it comes to having an orgasm. One study found that vulva-owners with lower sexual desire tend to require mental arousal in order to recognise their physical arousal. Try role play or tell your partner an erotic story to kick their pleasure up a notch.

8) Talk dirty to them

“Dirty talk” doesn’t have to include four-letter words. Describe what you’re doing to your partner, or say what you want them to do to you. If you’re hesitant, a simple compliment about how attractive you find your partner will do the trick. And if your partner has told you in advance that they’re turned on by specific words and phrases, pepper those into the dialogue, too.

9) Lube up

No matter how hot and heavy you’re getting, without adequate lubrication, it’s easy for sex to become uncomfortable or even painful for your partner. While lube is absolutely necessary for anal sex (butts don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do), it’s helpful for vaginal penetration and external stimulation, too—it can even make fingering more pleasurable. “Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris,” says Friedrichs.

Remember that needing lube doesn’t mean your partner isn’t turned on—some bodies just get wetter than others. Plus, medication, hormonal imbalances, menopause, stress, and dehydration can all decrease the body’s natural lubrication, so there’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra slippery stuff. Using lube makes sex more comfortable for everyone involved. In fact, a 2011 study found that using lube enhances sexual pleasure for vulva-owners. Just remember that if you’re using condoms, you should stick with water-based or silicone-based lube, since oil-based lube can damage latex.

The post 15 secrets to making a partner orgasm every single time appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

I’ve always been curious about the idea of exploring different kinks, like spanking or voyeurism, but find it’s something I can’t talk about with my mates. Is it normal to be curious about this?”

Absolutely, it’s completely normal to be curious about exploring different kinks. In fact, curiosity about kinks is more common than you might think. It’s just that not everyone feels comfortable discussing it openly, especially with their friends.

First off, let’s talk about what we mean by “kinks.” Kinks are basically any sexual preferences or activities that fall outside of what’s considered mainstream or vanilla.

The range of kinks spans from mild to wild, encompassing a diverse spectrum of sexual preferences and activities. Mild kinks may include playful role-playing, light bondage, or sensual sensory play, offering a gentle introduction to exploring sexual desires. Moving along the spectrum, moderate kinks like spanking, exhibitionism, or foot fetishism delve deeper into alternative desires, adding elements of power dynamics or sensory stimulation. At the more extreme end, wild kinks such as BDSM, edgeplay, or water sports involve intense forms of power exchange, risk exploration, or unconventional practices that push the boundaries of conventional sexual expression. What defines mild or wild varies from person to person, but we need to emphasise the importance of open communication, mutual consent, and respect for individual boundaries when exploring the diverse world of kinks.

Now, why might you be curious about exploring kinks? Well, there are a bunch of reasons. Maybe you’ve stumbled across something online that made you curious, or perhaps you’ve had a fantasy or two that got you thinking about it. Maybe you’re just curious about pushing your sexual boundaries and trying something new. Whatever the reason, it’s all good and as long as you are maintaining safety and consent, then it’s something to be excited about!

But here’s the thing—talking about kinks can be a bit of a taboo topic, especially among friends. Society tends to have some pretty strict ideas about what’s “normal” when it comes to sex, and anything outside of that can be seen as a bit, well, out there. So it’s understandable that you might feel a bit hesitant to bring it up with your friends.

That’s where I come in. As a sex therapist, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with being curious about kinks. In fact, exploring your sexual interests in a safe and consensual way can be a really positive thing. It can help you learn more about yourself, deepen your connection with your partner(s), and even spice up your sex life.

So how can you go about exploring your curiosity about kinks? Well, first off, it’s important to remember that communication is key. If you’re in a relationship, talking openly and honestly with your partner about your interests and fantasies can be a great way to start exploring together. And if you’re single, there are plenty of ways to safely explore kinks on your own or with a trusted partner.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s okay to take things slow. You don’t have to dive headfirst into the deep end of the kink pool if you’re not ready. Start by doing some research, maybe reading up on different kinks like BDSM, role-playing, or sensory play, or talking to people who are experienced in the scene. And when you do start experimenting, make sure to prioritise safety and consent above all else.

Now, I don’t think I need to mention this, but not everyone is into kinks, and that’s totally okay, too. We’re all different, and what works for one person might not work for another. The key is to stay true to yourself and your own desires, whatever they may be, but remember to ALWAYS respect others desires and always ask for consent. I don’t like hearing horror stories of people who have had kink practices explored on them without being told beforehand.

So to sum it all up, yes, it’s totally normal to be curious about exploring different kinks. And while it might not be the easiest topic to broach with your friends, know that there are plenty of people out there—including yours truly—who are more than happy to talk about it with you. So don’t be afraid to embrace your curiosity and start exploring—who knows what you might discover along the way!

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The post Asking for a mate… with Chantelle Otten appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

While the reasons for the resignation among some guys are complex and personal, what I largely see is a feeling of hopelessness and a belief that “there’s no one out there for me”. It’s pretty common to hear women sharing horror stories about dating men; I hope this article can be a starting point for any guys doing it tough on the digital dating scene to know that you’re not suffering alone. The fact dating can suck for men, too, is a shared experience for the vast majority of us.

One thing we know is that excessive screen time can squeeze the joy out of anything and when you talk to young guys today, they make clear they reckon the algorithm is rigged. The truth is, guys do have a much higher rate of rejection in the initial stages of dating (e.g. at the swipe right stage).

Speaking with people who work at dating apps, I’m told men typically swipe right on 1 in 3 women, while women swipe right on 1 in 20 guys. The experience of rejection at over six times the rate of women has a profound and cumulative impact on men’s self-worth, leaving many asking what they’re doing wrong. Unfortunately, there aren’t really any good quality guides for moving through the modern dating world, despite what some snake charmer-esque influencers (insert pick-up-artist conmen) might have you believe on YouTube.

My work with young guys is telling me there are two common reactive responses to the prospect of rejection and I can assure you, neither of them are helping. First off, some guys are trying to take back control to minimise a sense of ‘failure’ or a feeling they are being manipulated by women. They dominate conversation and they get aggressive and angry if they’re ghosted or rejected. It’s a trigger response, because you feel like shit, it hurts to feel invisible or not good enough, so you try to reassert yourself. I get it, but trying to regulate this impulse is key.

The second outcome is guys trying to package themselves as the lead in Mel Gibson’s early aughts romcom What Women Want, curating their profiles to be the ‘right’ kind of guy, while at the same time, losing all sense of their personalities, with an over estimation of their height and obsession with angles that hide what are perfectly normal receding hairlines. This tactic is not going to help differentiate you in a sea of ‘Lads on tour’ highlight reels.

So now, some advice, from a shrink, but most importantly, from a guy who successfully met his life partner on Hinge after spending way too much money on cocktails during shitty dates with people that made him want to hide under a doona for days.

How to change your approach to dating apps

1 Go out and ask your mates or your family to take photos of you that show a real insight into who you are (i.e., maybe lose the shot of you with a big fish). If you don’t offer an unfiltered glimpse into your life, you can’t expect to find real connection.

2 When you push past the online banter and end up F2F, be authentic, joke about what you’re feeling if you’re nervous—vulnerability is hot. The greatest superpower you have is to lean into the weird, awkward reality of dating. And if they throw it back at you and tell you it’s a turn off or let slip that you should ‘man up’, then fuck it, this is not your person.

3 Embrace failure. Turn rejection and what can be painful setbacks into an opportunity for growth and understanding. It’ll make you way more attractive. Remember, you can be the ‘nice guy’ and still have edge.

4 Finally, turn down the intensity. Hold any desired outcome lightly. It might end well, it might not, but often that’s out of your control. It’s exposure therapy 101. So just show up, be present and if that means you’re a sweaty mess, you don’t know what to say next or aren’t sure how to make the first move, just know they’re probably feeling the same way, so… talk about it. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Now go on, get out there, ya filthy animals.

Related:

In goal-setting mode? Listen to your inner voice

The biggest dating turn-offs, according to a woman who has been on 1000 dates

The post A psychologist’s guide to beating dating-app fatigue appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

Choosing the correct Hinge prompts—and writing good answers to those prompts—will help you scan the many fish in the sea to find those most suited for you. It might sound like a daunting task to craft the perfect profile, but at least you’re an expert in the subject matter: you.

“The most important thing to remember is to tell the truth and be authentic,” says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and sex expert at the LGBTQIA+ dating app Taimi. “The more you tell about yourself and the more honest you are, the more likely it is you’ll attract someone who will prove to be a good match.”

Best practices for crafting your Hinge prompts

Having an air of mystery may seem hot in movies, but it’s just a waste of time in real life—especially when it comes to dating apps, where determining what’s real and what’s not is so much more difficult than it is in person. “Being coy may seem like a safer way to interact on apps, but it doesn’t yield fruitful results,” Engle says. (No one’s swiping right on a bio that says “I suck at writing bios.”)

So nix those coy answers and get specific when you fill out your Hinge prompts. The more specific you get, the likelier you are to match with people that are similar to you. That means you’ll really have to think about yourself and want you want.

Be specific when discussing what you’re looking for, too. Vagueness won’t help narrow your options. For example, don’t just say you’re looking for “someone with a lot of personality” (is anyone not looking for someone with a personality?); say you’re looking for “someone with a lot of energy, and who enjoys being active and trying new things” (or whatever that personality looks like to you). Be honest, both with yourself and in your profile. Don’t say you’re “super into the gym” because you want someone with a six-pack, when in reality you haven’t been to gym in six months and have no intention of starting again.

Add a variety of prompts to paint a full picture of yourself. If all of your prompts are jokes, that doesn’t reveal a ton about you. But, if all your prompts are serious, you might come off as a little intense—and you won’t be revealing much about your day-to-day life.

The 20 best Hinge prompts to help get you a response

The post 20 Hinge prompts to help you get a response this Valentine’s Day appeared first on Men's Health Magazine Australia.

But what if you could convey more about yourself and your interests with just a few emojis? Sure, emojis get a bad wrap; we’ve all gone a little too heavy with a thumbs-up or a fist clench at least once in our lives. But it turns out there might be an art to emoji use. In fact, emojis could be the unsung heroes of the digital dating environment. But before you fire off a few cheeky love hearts or, er, other stuff, to that significant other, the rule of thumb is, please, don’t overdo it. 

Do men or women use the most emojis?

A recent study analysed over 23,000 Tinder bios to determine which emojis were the most commonly used. And the results were interesting. Women used 41 per cent more emojis in their bios than blokes. Perhaps that’s not surprising; women are often more expressive and tend to use emojis to convey emotions and feelings. 

Previous research also suggests that both men and women are more inclined to use an emoji when signalling a romantic intention over text, with 73.5 per cent of people choosing to use emojis to convey interest. When signalling friendship intentions in a written message, however, more people (30.1 per cent) chose to avoid emoji use.

What are the most popular emojis? 

Topping the list was the male shrug emoji 🤷‍♂️, used in 1,367 profiles. This playful emoji shows potential matches that you don’t take yourself too seriously, opting for that ‘Is what it is‘ mentality. 

The heart emoji ❤️came in second place, appearing 777 times. Its purpose is pretty self-explanatory, showing love and friendliness. 

Third place went to the camera emoji,📸 often used to display an Instagram handle. 

Why do we use emojis? 

So, why are emojis so crucial in the world of online dating? According to the study, people who use emojis are 30 per cent more likely to get responses from messages sent to a match than those who don’t. 

Using emojis in your bio or messages makes you appear more approachable and fun, and helps convey your interests and hobbies visually and creatively. 

For example, the weightlifting emoji was the second most popular emoji used to show fitness and activity-related interests. 🏋️‍♂️

The book emoji came in third place, showing people’s love for reading and sparking potential conversations about literature. 📚

And the plane emoji was the most popular emoji used to show a love of travel and adventure. ✈️

But it’s not just about the most popular emojis. It’s also about how you use them. For example, using a laughing emoji in your bio can make you appear more lighthearted and easy-going. Using music-related emojis followed by your favourite genres or bands can help spark a deeper connection with potential matches with similar interests. 

Getty Images.

Avoid being a trigger-happy emoji user

It’s essential to use emojis in moderation. You don’t want to come across as too emoji-happy and appear immature or unprofessional. And it’s always a good idea to mix in some actual words and sentences to convey your interests and personality, not to mention prove that you’re literate. The theory that less is more is the general consensus with emojis. Replying with a question or a statement keeps the conversion flowing instead of a singular laughing emoji. Of course, there are some downsides to using emojis in online dating. For example, some people may not understand the meaning behind certain emojis or may misinterpret them entirely, leaving you in an awkward situation.

Ultimately, emojis are just one tool in the toolbox of modern dating. But they can be a powerful one. So, next time you update your Tinder profile or send a message to a potential match, don’t be afraid to throw in a few emojis to help convey your personality and interests. Who knows, it might just be the thing that helps you find your perfect match.

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