EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT it feels like to be stuck. It’s that sense of being trapped in a loop, unable to break free from the patterns and habits that hold you back. It’s the frustration of wanting to move forward but feeling like your wheels are spinning in place. Oftentimes, this is a result of dwelling on the past – replaying mistakes, missed opportunities, and regrets like a broken record in your mind. These thoughts can be suffocating, holding you back from reaching your full potential and keeping you tied to a version of yourself that you no longer wish to be.
This is exactly how Charles Clark felt in 2009 when he stood at the peak of his athletic career as an NCAA National Champion in the 200-metre dash. He had just secured his place as the sixth fastest man in the world at the IAAF World Championships in Berlin. But his dreams were shattered in an instant when he suffered a 99 per cent tear in his right quad muscle. The following two years were a battle, not just with the physical recovery but also the emotional struggle. Part of finding healing was forgiving himself for the anger he felt for not being able to fulfill the expectations he had set.
Charles set off on a journey of self-discovery, realising that each person carries within them countless hopes, dreams, and goals, all a vision of the person they want to become. Yet, all too often, they find themselves falling short of these ideals and struggling with feelings of inadequacy. The hardest thing for so many people to do is to let go of that old story they cling to so that they can create a new one. Maybe it’s the story of their childhood, the story someone told them, the story they tell themselves, the story that creates guilt, frustration, and shame.
Whatever the case may be, Charles wants to challenge you to let go, to release the worry, and to trust your future. The key to this is self-forgiveness. What if, instead of criticising yourself for your perceived shortcomings, you chose to extend the same compassion you would give to a friend, to yourself? What if you recognised that self-forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but a profound act of courage – a testament to your resilience and capacity for growth?
So, if you want to get started on your journey to forgiveness, here are a few tips:
- Set aside time for reflection and allow yourself to work through your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without judgment. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this, providing a space to process your feelings and identify patterns of self-blame or negativity.
- Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself. Challenge any negative or critical thoughts that come up by replacing them with affirmations of self-compassion and self-acceptance. Try this: “I will release shame from my story so that I can be free. While my past remains fixed, I possess the ability to transform who I become.”
- Set realistic expectations and remember that perfection is unattainable. Everyone makes mistakes and has moments when they don’t live up to their standards. Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on opportunities for growth and take each day in stride.
Even though you feel pain, you can also give yourself love.
When these feelings resurface, as they often will, recognise that you’re not obligated to cling to them. Instead, acknowledge their return and help them find their way out of your life. This allows you to focus on creating the most important narrative – the story you desire to live. There are two paths Charles wants you to see today: suffer in silence or surrender in strength. Which one will you choose?
